my heart is carved out in glass... [entries|friends|calendar] dragonfirescars [ website | myyyyyyyyyspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[18 Sep 2006|05:29pm] I am so ridiculously in love with alan jackoway. every time i see him i love him just a little more. ive never met someone i feel more comfortable around, someone that i love absolutely everything about. i can't get over how lucky i am to be with him. who cares if its so long distance? its totally worth it. p.s. i turn 18 tomorrow. how crazy is that? *10* cared, What am I to you?

[07 Sep 2006|03:28pm] i feel like life is going by too fast and that if i dont slow down im going to fall on my face. at the same time, i love the pace my life is taking because i seem to be constantly looking forward to something that isnt here yet. hopefully im wrong about the first one. *2* cared, What am I to you?

[18 Aug 2006|05:18pm] i cant wait until college. i keep going back and forth between feeling life is going by too fast and wanting it to speed up. it so hard to live in the moment. i think this might be because you already know how you feel about the past, and you think you know how you feel about the future, but its much harder to know how you feel about the present moment. you cant look at it, because you're in it. i think maybe stepping out of your life for a minute and looking at the present is the key. *8* cared, What am I to you?

[03 Aug 2006|12:59pm] [ mood | shocked ] ive had quite a past couple days. tuesday morning i woke up, called barnes and noble to find out about fundraising opportunities for the drama club this year. they said they'd have the person in change of that call me back. then i called my school. i talked to the event coordinator for freshman invasion and asked if drama club could have a performance during the auditorium presentation part of the day. she said she had to see the performance first to approve it and that i could come out any day this week before 3. for the next hour or so i tried to find what performance we were going to do. i wanted ian, emily, and ben to do a scene from present tense, but ben was out of town and i felt bad asking ian and emily to rememorize stuff over the summer. also, emily pretty much told me she didnt want to. that left me with two option, i could do a monologue or a solo. after searching through monologues, i decided that none of them were good enough and therefore i should do a solo insteed. im not going to buy a karyoke cd for this so i went through the ones i had. i decided on either Popular, of No Good Deed from Wicked. i sang both for emily and she said i should do no good deed. the decision was made! now i only had to practice. then barnes and noble called back. i arranged for us to be wrapping presents during the holiday season for donations and hosting a talent night of sorts where we get 15% of the profits made during that time. hopefully we'll make some money. then i decided that i was ready to perform for the event coordinator at school so i went there, sang my song, showed her something id typed up that i wanted to say before singing, and before i knew it she had not only approved both but i was also now going to be giving the student perspective on extra curricular activities. its cool though, cuz now she owes me. hopefully this will make scheduling drama events easier in the future. then michael and i cleaned my car, then went to michael's uncle's birthday party. wednesday was a bit more interesting. it started with me calling my riding instructor and leaving a message, just to say hi and im back in town. then i went to kinkos and bought some cool paper to make flyers for our con with. i also bought some poster board for freshman invasion. then i came home and made the con flyers. then my riding instructor called back. this is where it gets interesting. she called back to tell me that shes going to kick me off the farm because people were telling her i was, basically, abusing her horses when i was watching the barn while she was out of town. now ive been riding there for 9 years and not once have i purposefully hurt a horse. i would never purposefully hurt a horse, no matter what. anyone who knows me knows that. yet, she believed some random person, i have no idea who, she wouldnt tell me, and without even talking to me was ready to kick me out. she was going to send me a letting telling me i wasnt allowed back. now there are two things about this situation that i dont understand. first, why would someone make up stuff like that about me? i know everyone at the barn fairly well and i thought they were all my friends. second, why would my riding instructor, someone who has known and trusted me for 9 years, believe something like that? when i talked to her, i told her that it wasnt true, and then she told me her phone was dying and she'd have to call me back. that was over 24 hours ago. i dont know what to do. i love the barn, its been a huge part of my life for 9 years, yet i think im going to feel horrible every time i go there from now on. i dont want to leave the horses or the kids there that ive spent so much time with this summer and in years past, but i dont know. i cant believe this is happening. What am I to you?

SUUSI was effing amazing [27 Jul 2006|09:15am] i wrote a day by day journal like i always do but here is an outline of the best points: -bridging into the young adult dorm (yeah, im an adult now, how crazy is that) -performing almost every night -making $72 off cd sales -getting the part i wanted in TWOB and -TWOB totally kicking ass -seeing all the amazing people ive known forever and -meeting a ton of really cool new people -alan. alanalanalanalan. -not worrying about school or stressing about college for one whole week *5* cared, What am I to you?

[02 Jun 2006|02:54pm] its unbelievable how amazing next year has the potential to be. seriously, in a few months im basically going to have everything i have ever wanted. actually scratch that. once ive been accepted to and decided on a college, then things will be perfect, but even before that things are gonna be pretty damn awesome. What am I to you?

film class biatch! [19 May 2006|08:47am] do you know who i love? Rachel Ben-Zadoc thats who. In a show of my appreciation of Rachel existance i am going to write her this series of poems. Sitting in my film class Is Rachel, a glorious lass she is the best and most have confessed that most others Rachel can surpass Rachel Ben-Zadoc so beautiful and smiling my favorite girl here ah im out of time! lets go chemistryyyyyyyyyyyyy. *4* cared, What am I to you?

just kidding, im not emo [16 May 2006|10:52am] [ mood | chipper ] jordan and i have a secret handshake AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED!! I'm emo by the way. -Sarah no im really not. but jordan totally is. LIAR!!! Sarah's emo, end of story jordan just bit me. what a loser cool kid. P.S. jordan isnt really a loser because he can fit a whole hamburger in his mouth. *2* cared, What am I to you?

i would never go on livejournal anymore if it werent for my computers class [27 Apr 2006|10:15am] [ mood | relieved ] i feel like ive been going nonstop for the past few months and finally, as of today, i can start to slow down. yeah, i have my calc AP and IB exams next week and chemistry in 3, but other than that im basically done with school for the year. one month of rest before i start working. well, not all rest. next weekend is the tampa con, then the film festival, then the rogyruu lock in. while only the film festival could realistically fall under the category of rest, all of these things are free of the ridiculous amounts of stress these past months have been full of. im sooooo looking foreward to it. the only unpositive thing in my life is the still very obvious and depilitating condition of my right foot. as of two days ago my xrays are starting to show signs of arthritis. cross your fingers that it stops getting worse and that i wont need a second surgery. but lets not think about that. my horse has been great, my friends are great, im in love with a great guy, so i definitely can't complain. 2 months and 17 days baby *2* cared, What am I to you?

best spring break ever [17 Apr 2006|10:29am] [ mood | loved ] 5 days in delaware + Alan + Orion + P.J. + kayacing + meteor shower + being in the middle of the woods + monopoly + meeting everyone in delaware + easter egg hunts + messages on backs of pictures + getting lost + path of certain destruction = 5 of the best days of my life how can a trip starting with Alan's father telling me "here is the fire extinguisher. sometimes it falls..." not be amazing? answer: it absolutely can not. *4* cared, What am I to you?

differential equations [07 Mar 2006|09:20pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | differential equations, me ] as of tonight, i have 13 finished songs ready and waiting to be recorded for my cd! i really like song number 13, i basically wrote the entire thing in a half hour (music and all) during calc so it was more like my subconscious wrote it than i did, but i like it none the less. i give all the credit to calculus, it inspires me. in honor of calculus, i name this new song differential equations (what we were working on while i was writing the song). im so excited! im probably going to sing it at chocolate moose this weekend or next weekend to see what kind of response it gets. we'll see! *6* cared, What am I to you?

love is the answer at least for all of the questions in my heart [27 Feb 2006|03:38pm] [ mood | chipper ] so im in computers right now with my good old chum jordan. we were just reading his old livejournal entries from back in the day and commenting on how he used to be emo. didnt everyone? i think so. its an unfortunately state that everyone must go through at some time in their lives. i never update my livejournal anymore. i refuse to give up on it and let myspace take over my life though. myspace gets a thumbs down in my opinion. anyways, life is pretty cool. i just found out my tentative work schedule for the summer. im working from 8-3 week days starting the day after memorial day and ending July 5th. at some point during this time i need to go to tampa with rachel, agatha, annum, and alex (and jordan?). jordan says we are going in early june, we'll see about that... anyways, i think im going to be able to start riding again next friday which i am REALLY REALLY excited about as im sure you all could guess. all in all, there isnt really anything in my life to complain about (besides drama club, but lets not talk about that). there's only us there's only this forget regret or life is yours to miss no other road no other way no day but today *6* cared, What am I to you?

didnt you used to be someone who meant something to me [06 Feb 2006|04:11pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | Wine, Women, and Song, Harvey Danger ] i need some excitement in my life. i wanna do something for absolutely no reason, like skip school to go to disney world, or possibly something no so large scale. i havent been living my life as well as i should be for the past few months, and not just because of my foot. this weekend i started to live my life a bit better. lets see if i can keep it up. goals manage time better meet new people work harder in school never make excuses *4* cared, What am I to you?

you're Westminster crabby [23 Jan 2006|04:59pm] [ mood | downtrodden ] [ music | John Jacob Jinglehimer Shmit (spanish version), Emily ] i felt AWFUL all day yesterday, but i kept denying that i was sick because 1 its totally unfair for me to be sick and cant walk at the same time and 2 i really needed to go to school today because of the drama meeting. unfortunately i was wrong. i finally gave in and took my temperature right before going to sleep and it was 101. so im rather downtrodden you might say. my dad bought me chocolate cake the other day that i really want to eat but i know thats a bad idea... i might just be crazy enough to do it though ;) *4* cared, What am I to you?

home again home again jiggity jig [15 Jan 2006|04:43pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | In My Life, The Beatles ] jamai-con was fun. the only point where i was unhappy was during wink, when i could not play :( but other than that i had a good time. i played ultimate frizbee in spite of my injury and scored three points :D. i sang and coffee house and walked up the stairs to the stage to cheers of encouragement. yes, my friends basically made fun of my crippledness the entire time, but it was all in good fun. how is it that cons seem to always come up just when i need them? it was great spending time with all my old friends, and all my new ones. it is impossible to feel alone in the world when you're at a con. those people are the best. There are places I’ll remember All my life though some have changed Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain All these places have their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall Some are dead and some are living In my life I’ve loved them all *3* cared, What am I to you?

ill foolishly give my devotion [08 Jan 2006|10:07pm] [ mood | perfect ] [ music | Far and the Few, The Nudes ] today was a pretty good day overall. i went to owl, and then to hard rock to see Nobody Famous play in battle of the bands. i saw jj and rj again after not seeing them for ages which was nice. they've improved since last time i saw them. maybe i will actually start going to see them every time i say i will... today in owl i learned that the one thing all girls want in a guy is confidence and all that girls need is to be loved. today in life i learned that one of the things i want is a guy who will plan to "accidently" fall asleep together on the couch just so we cant spend the night in each other's arms. i fall in love with you all over again every day. 95 days baby... *2* cared, What am I to you?

[07 Jan 2006|12:10pm] i have another 2 more petitions for you guys the first petition is called "Save Our Last Wild Forests: Restore the Roadless Rule" The Bush administration repealed the widely supported Roadless Area Conservation Rule, opening nearly sixty million acres of America's last wild national forests to logging, road construction, mining, oil exploration, and other forms of development. The Roadless Rule was one of the greatest forest conservation measures in U.S. history. The protection it provided for unspoiled forests was a critical step in keeping grizzlies, wolves, and other species from returning to the brink of extinction. Protecting our nation's wild forests is even more important for imperiled species now that some members of Congress are trying to eliminate the habitat protections currently provided by the Endangered Species Act. http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/975386279 if you agree that restoring the roadless rule is important, sign the petition. if not, once again ignore this post. thank you. Also... I believe that ALL Americans, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, deserve the rights, responsibilities, and privileges that come with marriage. And right now, we have an unprecedented opportunity to make that dream a reality. Please, join me in adding your voice to a million voices raised in support of marriage for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples at: http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/millionformarriageac same deal, if you want to, sign it. if you dont, ignore it. What am I to you?

tell me princess now when did you last let your heart decide [05 Jan 2006|08:39pm] [ mood | lucky ] [ music | A Whole New World, The Aladdin Soundtrack ] im super stressed about school work and will be until ive done my group 4 experiment but over all ive been quite happy for the past two days. some of the people in my life are just phenominal and recently ive been made more aware of just have great they realy are. thanks guys for being so wonderful. *2* cared, What am I to you?

Alito scares me... [04 Jan 2006|06:44pm] I'm writing to ask you to join me in writing a short note to your Senators, asking them to oppose Judge Samuel Alito for the Supreme Court. Judge Alito has a record of extreme views on issues like privacy and civil rights and a pattern of deception to hide them from congress and the public. I believe that he is the wrong choice for the Supreme Court. You can write a short letter to your Senators and deliver it online just by going here: http://www.political.moveon.org/alitoletters note:if you don't agree with me, then ignore this entry. i am not trying to force my beliefs on anyone, i'm simply trying to get the word out to those who do agree with me. thank you. *4* cared, What am I to you?

lets get these teen hearts beating faster faster [02 Jan 2006|05:38pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have...P!ATD ] dear god im tired. i started a new song. you'll probably never read it. edit: well you wont read that song, but i also wrote a poem today and you guys can read that ( if you want ) singing is my favorite way to tell people things without having to say anything. i think that reading songs takes a lot of the meaning out of it. i dont like myspace because i really like livejournal and myspace is replacing it. ( here are some pictures ) Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress? Then think of what you did And how I hope to God he was worth it. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as you're fingers touch your skin. I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me *9* cared, What am I to you?

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